


Redemption

by LegoHurtsLikeSatan



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Depression, Drug Dealing, Drugs, Everyone Needs A Hug, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heroes to Villains, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Loki Has Issues, Loki Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mentions of Spider-man, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Redemption, References to David Bowie, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Tension, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Vigilantism, fanboy! peter parker, please be kind, spiderman - Freeform, tony stark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-11 20:18:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 19,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7906174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegoHurtsLikeSatan/pseuds/LegoHurtsLikeSatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boudicca is an unrecorded super human who would like it to stay that way. She spends the nights patrolling bars and nightclubs looking out for the vulnerable and protecting them from predators in New York. On one particular night, she runs into a man, who relates more to her than she realises. What will become of them and their unusual and noble quest for redemption when viewed by the Avengers first hand?<br/>...<br/>This is my first fan fiction, please judge me fairly and let me know if you are actually reading it and want more, either in the comments or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Just one more sweep of mascara. There! Boudicca was ready to hit the town! Checking herself over again, the blue and purple of the eyeshadow had blended well and the blue eyeliner was a very good choice! A little shimmering highlighter on her cheek bones really set of her pale complexion. She checked to make sure her violet lipstick was in her hand bag for top ups through the night and she shook her deep blue hair.

She had to make sure she made a statement and that she would be remembered in their minds forever!

Putting on her short, heeled spiked boots over her leather trousers, she twirled once in front of her mirror, making sure that her white crop top covered her breasts and top half of her chest completely.

Satisfied that she had looks that could kill, she picked up her hand bag and left her apartment, hoping that she wouldn’t have to murder anyone tonight!

…

 

She was not going out that Saturday night for the same reasons every other lady in her twenties was. She had a job to do. Find the place that attracted most of the young people that night, sit at the bar, nurse one drink all night and keep an eye out for creepy perverted bastards who will try and prey on one of the weaker ones within a group; the ones dancing by themselves surrounded by their friends coupled up, the ones who didn’t want to be there, the ones who were lonely and needed a friend. Boo looked out for them silently every night and tonight would be no exception.

She looked across the main stretch and quickly examined the groups outside the clubs. Her eyes could pick out every detail and every colour so had no problem examining everyone. She walked slowly down the street, evaluating every group. God, if she didn’t know any better, she would look like a predator. She shook this thought away, it wasn’t time to think about herself.

…

 

Across the street, there was a man with very similar plans to Boo that night. He had risked coming back to New York where he was so recognisable by so many now ever since the SHIELD files had gone viral. But he was trying to learn who he was and keeping vulnerable people safe seemed like a Bucky Barnes thing to do.

The night scene seemed familiar to him but different somehow, maybe it was brighter or noisier to what he could remember? He didn’t know, but making sure that people were safe and happy seemed to comfort him. It was safer to do this rather than rescue kittens from trees in broad daylight. At least the night protected him, people were far friendlier and more likely to doubt that he is the Winter Solider.

Was.

Damn it.

He is James Buchannan Barnes.

At least that is what the history books said.

 

He ran his metal hand through his long hair. He was careful not to dislodge his shades and was relieved to find that his hair slide through his metal fingers without tangling, there was nothing more annoying than catching his hair through one of the metal ridges. He was wearing tough fingerless leather gloves but not for fashion reasons. He put his metal hand back in the pocket of his leather jacket and shifted his weight from one leg to another. He knew how to look inconspicuous in public because of HYDRA’s training and tried not to be thankful for it. He looked down the street and spotted a blue haired woman walking slowly, taking in the people and scene. It appeared as though she was looking through the groups. He was suspicious and knew he had to keep an eye on her throughout the night. He saw her check out a group of underage’s, smirk slightly and follow them into a dingy bar. Those boys were in danger, if not to themselves then to that woman and anyone else.

He walked quickly over the road and followed them into the bar.

 


	2. Chapter Two

Boudicca chose to follow this group of young lads. They were underage and had already been pre drinking, anyone could see that. They joked and laughed unaware of the potential dangers. She smiled slightly, it must be nice to be so carefree, she thought.

 

She knew this bar quite well and not in a good way. The bartenders didn’t check ID’s enough and alcohol was cheap and nasty. They always played some crappy mixtapes made by students because they couldn’t afford a good DJ or the licence to play the radio. It was the perfect hive for 17- 20 year olds wanting to go out without being asked too many questions. She knew this scene quite well since she had hung out in similar places when she was growing up in England.

 

She watched the young lads crash on a circle of worn futons and giggle in the centre of the room. The rest of the bar was filled with mismatched sofas, chairs and stools with dirty tables in a variety of conditions. There were a few groups in the bar, some older women celebrating what seemed to be someone’s hen night, a group of bulky men sitting quietly, some students beginning their night out with cheap alcohol, some skinny sickly looking people sat on one side of the bar that spanned the centre of the room, talking in low voices, looking shiftily at the new arrivals and putting their hands in their pockets. Boo could tell they were drug dealers before the smell of old sweat and cheap weed hit her.

 

She wandered over to the bar, sat down on the least rickety stool she could find, put her arms on the bar side to see what liquor they served and immediately regretted her decision. The side was sticky with old split drinks on her bare arms and they only sold the cheap stuff that her 17 year old self would have loved.

The bartender walked round to her after serving another customer.

 

“What will it be gorgeous?”

 

He had tattoos and piercings and would have been the type of guy she would have gone for, if not for the missing tooth and mysterious smell of shit and tobacco that seemed to be soaked into his skin.

 

“Double vodka and lemonade thanks” she replied flippantly, she didn’t want his attention tonight, she had people to watch over.

 

He handed her the drink with a wink. My god, will it ever stop? She went to pass over the money to him when held up his hands.

 

“No need darling. It’s on the house! Though if you wanted to pass me a note with your number on I would accept it gladly!”

 

She rolled her eyes, “I’m fine, I’m waiting for my boyfriend” She said whilst forcing the money into his hands.

 

His face dropped reluctantly into a disappointed smile as he walked to put the cash away. “The same boyfriend that is waiting for his girlfriend?” as he gestured over his shoulder.

 

She looked over and took in the man. He was sprawled in the corner of a worn and dirty sofa in a darker part of the bar. He had shoulder length brunette hair that was brushed behind his ears. He had a 5 O’clock shadow that extended slightly over his neck. He was wearing a long v neck burgundy t shirt that seemed to outline his pecs. It was untucked from his skinny jeans which fit his legs snuggly. One leg was on the low table next to his drink which showed off his battered army boots. Vintage or a cheap knock off? Boo didn’t know but she needed to stop oogling this guy and get back to work.

 

The barman looked expectantly at her. Then she remembered that he had asked her a question.

“Um, yeah, maybe. No! I mean absolutely not!”

 

Concern crossed his face. “Do you want me to kick him out of here? I’d hate for him to ruin your night”

“No, it’s fine! I… I just wasn’t expecting to see my boyfriend tonight!” She said that to get out of the barman’s way, she told herself.

 

She stood up and took her drink over to where he was sat, he looked up at her with clear blue eyes, confusion written all over his face.

“Smile and hug me. I’ve told the barman that you are my boyfriend to avoid him.”

 

He smirked and pulled Boudicca’s arm down so her back landed with a soft umph on his chest and held his arms around her. He then put his mouth close to her ear, his hair tickling her face slightly.

 

“I said the same thing to him as well, do I get to know the name of my girlfriend tonight?”

…

 

Bucky had closely followed her in. The closer he got to her, the more confused he got. She didn’t seem like the usual creepy stalker. Maybe she was just going for a quiet drink and just happened to follow the young lads in? It seemed like too much of a coincidence to be honest so he slipped around her whilst she was examining the area.

He knew where the young lads were in the room, he didn’t need to look as well, he knew this type of bar well enough. He went to the bar and took off his shades.

“Double vodka thanks”

 

The bartender looked up from the glass he had been wiping absentmindedly, “Sure”.

Whilst Bucky had really nothing to say to him whilst making his drink, the barman still attempted to make conversation.

 

“You here alone tonight? Because if you’re not, I could have a drink wit-“

“I’m waiting for my girlfriend” Bucky said firmly. That would get him off his back so he could concentrate.

“Oh” he said sadly “well, if she doesn’t turn up, I’ll still be around.”

 

Bucky thanked the barman, handed over his money and sat in the corner where he could see the whole bar. Might as well get attempt to get comfy, he thought and sprawled on the broken sofa.

 

He found himself gazing back at the bar. Despite her outlandish appearance, she was rather pretty. Almond shaped eyes, toned up body, legs for days, she looked too good for this place. She should be bathed in glamour and riches, he thought.

 

He looked back over at the young lads. No obvious danger yet but the night was still young. Bucky sipped his vodka and grimaced- damn nasty cheap shit!

 

He heard heels clacking on the floor to his right and looked up, how could that blue haired woman catch him off guard?

She spoke low and quietly, “Smile and hug me. I’ve told the barman that you are my boyfriend to avoid him.”

 

He supposed he could afford a little distraction?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the longer chapter with little action! I’m just really enjoying writing fiction and I haven’t done it for a good few years! By the way, the barman was originally supposed to be bisexual but I decided just to make him socially awkward instead, I hope that came across!  
> Comments are very welcome!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This where this idea is being turned into a story. Also I would like to thank TheBeetleQueen for her advice, it has really helped improve this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where it’s going to start turning dark. The rating is going to be set as explicit so I don’t have to worry about under 18s reading it.

“Boudicca. How about you tall, dark and handsome?” She may as well play along, the young lads didn’t seem to have any intention of moving for a while. She settled down further into the man’s lap.

 

“Bucky” He said with a chuckle. He hadn’t been the subject of anyone’s flirtations for a while but he felt comfortable in this position. Maybe James Buchannan Barnes was a bit of a ladies man? He was learning more about himself than he thought he would just from being in the presence of this woman. “What’s a beautiful woman like you doing in a place like this?”

 

She tried not to blush but cheesy pick-up lines were her guilty pleasure. “I’m just here for beautiful scenery and expensive alcohol.”

 

“Beautiful, demanding and witty! You are a girl and a half!”

 

She really was trying to pay attention to the boys but it was really hard when Bucky was bathing her with compliments. “Well I am a sucker for a good flirt.”

 

 

Bucky was holding this woman’s attention so there was one less danger for the boys- at least that is what he told himself. He could keep an eye on them, he was sure, but she was so goddamn charming. All he wanted to do was hold her tighter in his lap and give her his full attention all night.

 

 

Boo knew he was too much of a distraction so slid off his lap and on to the seat next to him, putting one of her legs over his- just to fit in, she told herself. She peered over the entire room, nothing major seemed to have changed during their exchange. The drug dealers had left and the hen party group were at the bar, flirting with the barman- at least he had some company now.

 

The boys stood up and went over to the make shift dancefloor and attempted to dance, though in reality it looked like a group of dizzy T rex’s on roller skates. She’d be glad when they got their taxi home, then at least she could move on to somewhere _slightly_ classier.

 

“So how come I’ve never seen you around here before?” The question startled her and brought her attention back to Bucky.

 

“I try to hang out in classier spots. How about you stranger?”

 

“Travelled for a bit, realised that New York is my home.”

 

“Anywhere in particular?” These were all very filler questions, just so she didn’t have to think or react too hard. The hen party now moved on to the dance floor and the boys invited them to dance with their group.

 

“Um, France, Germany, Russia…”

 

“Oh! I’ve always wanted to go to Russia! How was it?”

 

“Messed up, never want to go again, don’t ever want to talk about it. _Next question!_ ” Memories played in his head that made him physically shudder, no he was **not** going to be sick here, he was in the company of a wonderful girl.

 

 **Fuck!** He was at work! Maybe keeping her attention wasn’t a good idea. He looked up to where she was gazing. “You like dancing?”

 

“No, yeah, maybe. Sorry, I just zoned out.” She hadn’t. She’d spotted one of the women attempting to grind up on a spotty gangly teenager. He was trying to back away but she was having none of it. **That was it.**

 

“Will you excuse me for a minute? I’ve just got to nip to the toilet” Boo stood up and stalked to the dancefloor.

 

She stood in front of the woman attempting to grind on the poor boy. She was wearing a low cut dress and huge amounts of makeup was plastered on her face, as if trying to relive the glory days of her youth. “Can you come to the toilet with me? I don’t feel safe going alone.” Boudicca said in a small voice, look small and young, _she will want to help you_ she told herself. Whilst doing this, she slide her hand over to one of the boy’s pockets where their phone was sticking out, and pocketed it.

 

The woman nodded her head and followed Boo to the toilets.

 

They stepped into the bathroom and Boo moved towards a cubical whilst the woman moved in front of a cracked mirror to reapply her lipstick.

 

“Please don’t leave me” said Boo through the door in a small frightened voice.

 

“Of course not darling! Is that guy you are sat with giving you trouble?” _My god it was so **easy** to manipulate her._

 

“No, but I was worried that maybe I was drinking to quickly and you looked safe enough to come with me.” _Safe my arse!_

“Well, I’m not drinking tonight because I am the unlucky designated driver.”

 

 **That was it.** Boudicca was furious. She stepped out of the cubical, eyes livid, fists clenched.

 

“So you decided to make that **boy** your entertainment tonight?”

 

She looked nervously at the door, hoping to get out of the toilet. “I. I. I don’t know what you mean?” She was scared. **Good.** It would mean that she wouldn't have to hurt her _too_ badly.

 

Boudicca grabbed her throat and pushed her against the cubical door.

 

“If I see you or your other **hags** by the time I leave this bathroom, the police will be the least of your worries. Leave those boys alone. This will be your only warning. _Am. I. Clear_?”

 

The terrified woman nodded quickly, eyes wide with fear. Boudicca released her throat and stepped away. The woman ran out of the bathroom. The boys would not be bothered by those creeps again.

 

Boudicca went back into the cubical, put the toilet seat down and sat on top. With a small smile, she pulled out the boy’s phone and went into his contacts. He found his mum’s number and sent her a message saying where they were and to come collect them immediately. At least that was one less problem for her tonight, she thought, now she could move on from this bar and get a real drink.

…

 

Bucky was surprised to find he was enjoying himself. He didn’t think that he would be able to go out in a bar and talk to a women like others. It _still_ seemed like her attention was elsewhere, he followed her gaze to the dance floor again and saw an older woman attempting to grind on a boy. 

He started to sit up and get ready to move.

 

Boudicca had already stood up, her face hardening, saying that she was going to the toilet, and stalking towards the pair of them.

He saw her being accompanied by the hag into the toilet and wondered what was happening. The boy looked relieved and moved into the centre of the circle of which his friends were dancing. At least he was safe for now.

 

Bucky began to relax again. A few moments later, he saw the hag running out of the bathroom, rubbing her neck, gathering her bag and her friends and leaving hurriedly, looking at the bathroom door all the time. He began to chuckle and wonder what Boudicca had done to get rid of them so quickly.

 

A few moments later, Boo came out with a wide smile and a spring in her step. She placed a phone on the table where the boys had been sat originally and sauntered back over to Bucky.

 

“You had fun with that _witch_ in the bathroom?”

 

“So you saw what she did as well?”

 

Bucky blushed, he didn’t know why. “To be honest, it was the main reason I came to this bar.”

“Same here.”

 

They sat in silence for a few moments, downing their drinks. Was it really possible that they were **both** there to hunt down potential sexual predators?

 

They lent into each other, taking in the peace of the moment. It wasn’t often that these moments happened during the night but they knew how to embrace them fully.

 

The door to the bar opened suddenly. It looked like the mums had arrived. They ordered the boys to get into their cars. They collected their coats and phones and reluctantly left the bar. As they left, both Bucky and Boo let out a sigh of relief.

 

“Nice touch” Bucky remarked.

 

“Well, it’s one less group to look over tonight” she said with a smile. “Would you like to accompany me to another bar Bucky?”

“Of course!”

 

And they stood up and left hand in hand, knowing that they had found an ally in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! It could have been a whole lot worse but I am trying to build up to it. It will get faster paced, I’m just enjoying the writing and the character development! Remember to comment below or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan, just so I know whether anyone is actually reading this and enjoying it!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be warned, this chapter will deal with unwanted sexual abuse and anxiety attacks.  
> If this a trigger for you, I recommend that you do not read this fic because this will not be a one time issue, rather it will be a recurrent theme throughout.  
> Please remember to comment either on here or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan.

As midnight wore on, the majority of the underage’s and ones new to the nightlife scene finished up and made their way home. This made both Bucky’s and Boudicca’s job a lot easier in some respects. It meant that they could get to know each other slightly better.

 

They both were cat people, Boo preferred savoury food whilst Bucky had a sweet tooth, Bucky liked vodka while Boo like mojitos, Boo worked mainly with threats and fear manipulation, Bucky used his fists and huge stature.

 

Boudicca had warmed up to Bucky with his comfortable silences and protective stance, whilst Bucky loved the attention that he received from her and the sound of her laughter. It was the really small things but Bucky craved them so badly after having no meaningful connection with anyone in a very long time.

 

Even though he was warming up to her, he was careful not to let her hold his metal hand. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to explain his past to her quite yet.

 

 

With people drinking more as it got later into the night, more and more people went outside to the smoking areas to take a moment. This is where others would prey on their friendliness and willingness to talk to strangers. This is where the pair would head for the remainder of the night in various clubs.

 

Finally, hand in hand, the walked through Vogue, one of the most popular nightclubs in downtown New York. This place was a favourite for the New Yorkers towards the early morning hours for a variety of reasons; it was open till 5am, offered 2 for 1 drinks and played some of the newest club music. It was also a place where Boo had spent the ends of her nights for the last 6 months. The bounces knew of her and of what she did but didn’t try to stop her, it was easier for both parties just to accept it.

 

In comparison, Bucky had avoided this place specifically because whilst most people were relaxed, they were more sober compared to the middle of the night. But he trusted Boudicca and didn’t want her to finish off the shift by herself. He’d gotten attached and wasn’t sure if that was an entirely good thing for her.

 

Whilst they could handle alcohol a lot better than other humans, neither of them were there to drink. Instead they used the drink as a prop and more often than not, left it on the bar side. They planned to sweep the smoking area of Vogue once more and finish for the night. The sun was rising and the rest of the city was getting ready for the daytime so it was less safe for them to be out.

 

There weren’t many people left outside, a couple napping lightly on a picnic bench, a group of girls ordering a taxi and a couple of big lads sharing what looked like to be the last remains of a joint.

 

“Do you mind if I nip to the toilet?” Bucky asked, “I’ll only be a few moments.”

“I’ll wait for you” Boo reassured him as he left to go back inside.

 

She leaned against the wall of the club. She had enjoyed this shift, she’d found someone to work with and whom she could trust enough to keep an eye on the areas that she couldn’t. He was a nice guy, quiet and sweet. She couldn’t understand why he was alone.

She tilted her head back and stared off into the skyline. It was now Sunday so it would be a lot quieter. She could even go into a bar and order food and not have to worry about changing places quickly. Maybe she could ask Bucky if he fancied eating with her. In a quieter place of course, or even a takeaway?

 

 

As her mind drifted, one of the bigger men walked in front of her and put his hands either side of her head. “What’s a pretty thing like you doing all alone this time of night? Boyfriend abandon you for someone with more _common sense_?”

 

She couldn’t speak. Her mouth went dry. Her body began to shake as his words trigged unwanted memories. She felt herself go white and her eyes began to prickle with tears. She was having her first panic attack in a long time.

 

The brute misread her reaction completely, either unintentionally or not. He put his hands around her waist and kissed her forehead. “Hush now baby, I will take care of you. That dick doesn’t deserve someone like you.”

 

She froze completely, breathing shallowly as his hands began to grasp her ass checks roughly. “I’ll show you how much love you deserve.”

 

His stinking mouth hovered over hers, his crotch rubbing roughly into her. God, she needed to get out of there, she needed to move, she needed…

 

Bucky.

 

She needed Bucky now.

 

She needed him to hold her hand and let her lean on to his chest.

 

 _Maybe_ he had ran off, he’d done his work and he needed to go back to his house, he’d finished _using her_ now and he’d _left her_ to this creep.

 

Pure panic filled her system.

 

She couldn’t do or say anything to stop him.

…

 

 

Bucky ran through the crowd to get to the toilets. Whilst he knew she could take care of herself, he still felt very protective of her. He stood in a cubical and began to process the night:

 

  1. He found a very good ally to help him with his night time quest for redemption.
  2. She was a wonderful woman who hadn’t pried into anything that made him feel uncomfortable, he was very grateful for that.
  3. He trusted her with his life.



 

This was a major thing for Bucky. He had been on the run for the last 3 months and couldn’t even trust a homeless shelter to put him up for the night. He had very vivid nightmares and a terrible sleeping pattern. He was so tired but he found that Boudicca was like a thick security blanket. He knew that she wouldn’t hurt the man she had just met.

 

But she hadn’t met the real James Buchanan Barnes with the metal arm, wanted status and the unknown amount of innocent blood on his hands. He was tempted to sneak out of the club and leave New York, just so he wouldn’t burden her with his guilt.

 

But he was too weak of a man to do that. He _wanted_ her affections and attention. He _wanted_ to hold her, brush her hair, cook her a meal, and take her on a hike. He _wanted_ to do anything and everything to get them both away from their nightmarish lifestyle.

 

 

First things first, he would walk her home. They had helped enough people out that night, both with subtle threats across the club and physical interventions. It was time to get Boudicca home safe now.

 

He left the bathroom and walked back along the dancefloor and back outside.

 

He looked to his right and his blood ran cold. Boudicca was pressed up against a wall by a bigger man. He was clutching her to his body and biting her mouth. She tried to pull her face away but all he did was grab her chin and force her forward. She was shaking and deathly pale- she was having a panic attack.

 

The next movements that Bucky did were pure instinct. He stalked over to the man and grabbed his throat, forcing him away from Boo. He kicked the man’s knee caps, forcing him to kneel in front of Bucky. Bucky then raised his metal fist and, with a sickening **crunch** and splatter, smashed his nose.

 

He then pushed him on to the floor in a foetal position and proceeded to kick his ribs in. He was blind with rage, he couldn’t focus on anything other than killing the man who made one of the strongest women he had met into a victim of the exact thing she fought against.

Bouncers tried to pull Bucky away from the bloody whimpering mess of a man but were met with a swift whack to their stomachs, winding them.

 

He felt a pair of shaking hands on his shoulders. “No more. **Please**. No more Bucky.”

 

Bucky closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He turned around, expecting to see fear in Boo’s eyes, instead he saw concern and gratitude.

“We have to go now, the ambulance and authorities are on their way.”

 

The bouncers had locked the doors on their way out so Bucky had no choice but to offer his hand to Boo and vault over the high wooden fence.

Once over, Boo was still shaken.

 

“May I pick you up? We need to get you home and safely and quickly.”

 

Boo nodded and Bucky cradled her between his arms, asking for directions and running quickly to safety.


	5. Chapter Five

Boudicca felt protected in Bucky’s chest, despite the blood from the creep staining her t shirt from Bucky’s metal hand. She should have questioned the hand but she didn’t feel like she had to. He was already careful enough all night to not have her not notice it so she had the respect not to bring it up.

 

She directed him to her flat. It was in the dockyard district so had enough privacy from the New Yorkers. She was living at the end of a dark, damp ally because of the isolation and cheapness it offered. She could see everyone who headed towards her flat, if anyone could even notice that she lived there.

 

The building was grey with age and the door a rusted metal, probably scavenged from an old ship. Rotten timbers held single panes of glass for windows. It looked like something from a horror show but it was home to her now.

 

 

She dug into her bag to retrieve her keys and passed them to Bucky with shaky hands.

 

He put one of the keys into the lock and, thankfully, it open on the first attempt.

 

Bucky went into the darkened room and managed to lay Boo down on a sofa before turning round and locking the door. His hands searched in the darkness unsuccessfully for a light switch.

 

“It’s a dial.” Boo called lightly.

 

Bucky’s fingers located the dial and turned slowly. The light illuminated softly across the flat. The interior surprised him. The walls were a soft cream and well built, Blinds were in the windows in a position that allowed light in but not reveal the inside of the building. The floor was hardwood with a few patterned rugs well placed in the spaces. On the far side of the room, there was a modern kitchen with pine units and a breakfast bar.

 

His eyes drifted over towards the sofa set where he had put Boo down. It was a large corner sofa with a lower coffee table in the centre. All he could wonder was _how_ Boudicca had all this luxury within this run down dockyard apartment.

 

Boo sat up and put her head between her knees and breathed slowly and deeply. Bucky went to the kitchen sink and grabbed a clean glass off the draining board and filled it with water. He placed it on the coffee table and sat in front of Boo on the floor.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked her as she drank the water.

 

“Better thank you,” after a brief pause, “Would you like a cup of tea?”

 

“Sure” He said getting up to help her.

 

“No” She said firmly, pushing Bucky on to the sofa with a smirk. She filled the kettle and put it on to boil. Bucky looked at her quizzically. “I’m from England originally” She said with a laugh.

 

“Am I alright to use soap and water on your arm?” Boo asked whilst running water into a bowl.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I just meant if it would damage the metal…”

 

“No. It should be fine.” Bucky was surprised by her reaction to his arm, she didn’t seem to question its existence and it made Bucky grateful. He was too tired and drained to explain it today.

 

Boudicca made two mugs of tea and brought them over to the table. She then brought the bowl of water and a cloth and sat in front of Bucky.

 

She looked at the metal and realised the blood and mess spread further than his wrist. “Can you take off your shirt?” She blushed madly, “I just can’t clean it with it on.”

 

Bucky smirked and lifted his shirt above his head and laid back into the sofa, closing his eyes. “Thank you, I can’t usually get it all out of the grooves properly by myself.”

 

Boudicca couldn’t help but stare at his chest. It was well toned, had a slight dusting of dark hair on his navel. But this wasn’t, mostly, the reason for her stare. He was covered in scars, small nicks to larger deeper cuts, all pale and angry. She blushed and set to her task of his arm.

 

“It’s the least I can do.” And began to scrub and polish the plates. “Sorry for what happened back there, it hasn’t happened in a long time and I-“

 

“It’s not your fault Boudicca” Bucky interrupted sharply. “I’m just glad I was able to help you. Although I wish you hadn’t stopped me.”

 

“I’m glad I did, it would have been harder to clean you up” She joked. “I appreciate what you have done for me but I couldn’t have you commit a murder on my behalf.”

 

“You _really_ have no idea who I am?” Bucky said in amazement.

 

“Sorry, I haven’t been following the news lately, had other things on my plate.” She replied lightly.

 

There was an uncomfortable silence. Should Bucky tell her everything or leave her innocent, let her get to know the Bucky she had met?

 

Boudicca could feel the tension, should she tell him her story just to reassure that anything he had done would pale in comparison to her?

 

“How about we get some rest and talk later? It feels like we both have stories to tell.” Bucky agreed quickly. They needed to talk but they needed to rest and refresh first.

…

 

As Bucky showered, Boo sorted her room quickly, tidying away her makeup and fluffing the bed. _It was silly really_ , she told herself, _he might not even want to be in the same room as you, never mind near your body._ She dismissed this and pulled out a pair of men’s cotton shorts. She had a few pairs for herself because they were comfier than women’s shorts. She put on her pyjamas and sat in the living room, watching the sunlight brighten the flat.

 

Bucky walked out eventually, a towel around his waist and his hair dripping water down his chest. Boo threw him the shorts from where she was sat. “Sorry, that’s all I have.”

 

“Thank you” Bucky said with a smile. Boo jumped into the bathroom.

 

Bucky went into the room next to the bathroom and found it is was Boudicca’s bedroom, maybe he could lay on her bed for a moment? It had been a long time since he had a hot shower and fresh clothes and was already feeling pampered enough. As he laid his head on a pillow and sighed, Boo walked into the room and smirked. “Comfortable?”

 

Bucky sat up and was about to apologise but she simply laughed and gestured for him to lay back down. “Its fine, I’ll just sleep on the sofa.”

 

Just as she reached for the door handle, she heard a soft _“Don’t”_

 

She turned around and saw Bucky under the quilt, holding it open for her. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

 

She smiled understandingly and slipped in. He held her in his arms and they fell into the deepest and best sleep either of them had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that not much has happened in this chapter but it was needed to set the tone for the next!  
> Please be warned, the next chapter will have very heavy themes and Bucky feels! I was tempted to put both Character's backstories into one chapter but I want to explain both sides fully!  
> Sorry that it is so slow paced, I am just really enjoying writing at the moment :)  
> Please comment either on here or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan :)


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will have some major Bucky feels. There will be violence and choking but please be aware- THIS ISN'T BUCKY! It is the Winter Solider and will be explore more in the next chapter!

Bucky had to be dreaming. There was a warm and cosy body next him in a thick mattress bed. The person’s hair was soft and silky and smelled of lemons. His hair was soft and silky too, his body was clean. It couldn’t be real, could it?

 

He opened his eyes slightly. The hair was blue and was laid delicately on his chest. He couldn’t see their face because it turned away but he could feel his hands around their waist. It was too nice to be a reality, it **had** to be a very vivid dream.

 

He didn’t know how long this dream would last, so he planned to take advantage of this luxury. He snuggled further into the persons back and pull the covers over tighter. _Might as well dream a good rest_ , he thought to himself as he drifted back to sleep.

…

 

Boudicca woke up to muttering and movement. She froze for a moment, remembering the previous night. She then saw the metal arm under her waist and remembered it all.

 

Bucky, the person who could be her ally on her quest.

Bucky, the one who she really understood despite not knowing a great deal about.

Bucky, her protector.

 

The muttering behind her got more panicked and his twitching more obvious. Boo untangled herself from the sheets and turned around to him.

“Bucky? Bucky please?” She touched his face and his eyes flew open. They were not the eyes she had seen before. They were still blue but they lacked… sparkle? Humanity? Love?

 

And then it hit her, these were the eyes of a hunter and she was the prey.

“Buck-“

He flipped her on her back and pinned her by her throat, tightening his grip.

 

“Кто ты? Что ты хочешь? Ответь мне сейчас!”

 

“Bucky! Please!” She gasped.

Her vision was starting to prickle.

 

She needed air.

She needed him to understand her.

She needed to understand him.

 

Her eyes bulged and her hands struggled uselessly against the metal of his hand.

 

“Please….” She touched his face with her last ounce of strength.

…

 

Bucky was having another nightmare. He was chained to a wall, facing a television screen. The screen was blank and silent. He was alone in grey walled room and exhausted.

His throat was dry and his eyes were sore. Through that screen, he had watched that monster use his body to murder innocents. Bucky would scream for him to stop, for him to notice, for him to return him to his body. He was forced to wait and watch the cruelty committed using his body.

It was torture to watch that murderer use his body and be unable to stop it.

 

The ironic part of this was that he was only in control of his body when frozen.

 

God, he felt like he was going mad. He wanted to scream, to be heard, to be in control.

 

When he had jumped after that man into the water _(Steve was it?)_ he was able to take control more. He still felt the need to finish the mission but he couldn’t hurt this man because he… _cared for him?_

 

He ran as far as he could, he made sure that the Winter Solider would be far enough in his mind to be able to restrain him. So that he could learn who he was. Why the Solider was a part of him even though he didn’t want him there.

 

But of course, he **always** managed to get back into control.

 

And it seemed as though he was **furious** for letting Bucky try to get on with his life.

 

The television screen flickered to life. Bucky had dreaded this moment. This is where he would have to watch the Solider commit terrible acts and be unable to take control and stop it.

 

The screen focused on Boudicca’s face, her eyes sleepy and filled with worry and concern. He couldn’t let him hurt her, she was his only friend in the world.

He needed her help to keep in control, he needed her stay and fight with him against the Solider.

 

He began to pull on the chains that connected his wrists to the wall, wincing when he felt them pull on his sensitive, rubbed raw skin.

 

He watched as he flipped her on to her back, the surprised look in her eyes turning quickly to realisation as she saw it wasn’t 'Bucky'.

 

_“PLEASE BOUDICCA!”_

 

He heard the shout in Russian, he saw her confusion, and he felt the Soldier’s anger.

 

Bucky grunted in pain as the delicate skin of wrist split under the shackles of his mind but he did not stop pulling. He needed to stop this **NOW.**

 

He saw his hands clutch around her pale neck and tighten. He saw her choke under the suddenness of his movements. He felt her clutch at his forearms, attempting to claw his hands off her throat.

 

_“STOP NOW!”_

 

He felt the walls give slightly with a tug- the screws were finally being pried from the wall after all these years.

He continued to pull, blood pouring down his wrist, his legs being pulled backwards from force of his arms. His voice hurting from the animalistic roars coming from deep within his chest. He would not let the Solider take this little bit of happiness away from him.

He couldn’t.

 

_“BOO”_

 

Her hands outstretched towards the screen, her face turning from red to blue, her eyes bulging.

 

He pulled once more and his flesh wrist was slashed on the harsh metal cuff as the chain was wrenched from the wall and fell to the floor.

 

It hurt him badly. All he wanted to do was cradle his hand into his chest but he couldn’t. Boudicca’s hand was losing grip on the screen as she began to lose her strength. Bucky reached across the room to smash the screen, to grab her hand, to never let her go. The scar seam that connected his body to his metal arm tore slightly under the pressure but he didn’t care.

 

He smashed his flesh fist continuously against the glass of the screen, it cracking under the unexpected force.

 

With an almighty crash, the glass splintered and broke, letting Bucky intertwine his fingers with the falling hand.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a cliff hanger and a half!   
> I am sorry if the Russian isn't perfect, it is off google translate! But it should say "Who are you? Where am I? Answer me now" :3 Please remember to comment either on here or on my Tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky backstory- get ready for the feels!

Boudicca’s eyes opened wide as she breathed deeply and quickly, her lungs attempting to recover. After a brief moment, she became aware of her surroundings and looked up to meet Bucky’s eyes wide with horror. He was sat on her hips, his eyes moving quickly between her throat and his hands.

 

In her panic, she threw Bucky to the side and leapt out of the bed and ran out of the room. She ran to the kitchen sink, blasting the cold tap on full, throwing water to her face in haste.

 

After a few moments, she began to wash her face with more care, gingerly feeling her neck with cool hands. She filled a glass with water and turned the tap off. She drank the water slowly, it hurting to swallow too quickly, but could feel the swelling going down already.

…

 

Bucky had gone into shock.

 

He knew her action was appropriate but he didn’t know what to do now, so he did what he always did, he decided to run.

 

He walked into the bathroom and quickly put on last night’s clothes he had discarded. He could take a new t shirt off someone’s washing line whilst out but he had to leave **now**.

 

He opened the bathroom door and listened. He could hear her breathing steady now, at least he knew he hadn’t hurt her too badly. He walked to the front door and turned the latch clockwise.

 

“Don’t” Boo said in a quiet voice, echoing Bucky’s pleas from the night before, “Please don’t leave me alone.”

 

He let go of the latch and turned around. Boo was standing in the middle of the room, water dripping slightly from where it had landed in her hair, her eyes watering, trying not to spill over, her hands raised slightly in an attempt to ask for him to hold her.

 

He walked over to her, unsure of what to expect. He stopped in front of her, afraid to meet her eyes.

 

She then wrapped her arms around him and began to sob quietly. Bucky then did what was natural to him and wrapped his arms around and cried with her.

…

 

They found themselves on the sofa, Bucky’s head in Boo’s lap allowing her to stroke his hair. It was nearly 2pm, but they had to talk.

 

After a few more moments, Boo decided to start.

 

“It wasn’t you this morning, was it?”

 

“No,” he reassured her quietly “I would never hurt you.”

 

He sighed and started to tell his story.

 

“There maybe a few gaps in the story, but I want to tell you all I know. I owe you that.

 

I am James Buchannan Barnes. I was born in 1916 and I fought in World War Two with Captain America. I was injured in a mission to take down an organisation called HYDRA where I lost my arm.”

 

He took a moment to look up at Boudicca. She was listening to him intently and held his flesh hand, nodding for him to continue.

 

“HYDRA found me and experiment on me. They gave me this... monstrosity,” he gestured to his metal arm, “and they injected me with so many things, they hurt so badly…” He shuddered at the memory.

 

“Bucky, you don’t have to tell me anything-“

“But I want to. I want you to understand.” He smiled slightly at her and took another breath.

 

“They forced me to watch things. They would force me to torture innocents. I resisted in beginning, taking their punishments, but they’d forced me to watch them committee the atrocities that I refused to. I felt so _helpless_ , I couldn’t save them no matter what.”

 

He closed his eyes and put his hands to his face, wanting to disappear but stay at the same time. Boudicca began to stroke his hair again, saying how brave he was to talk about this and that he could stop at any point.

 

He laid his hands on his chest and tried again,

“I began to lose control over my mind, I was losing control over my body. They would say **‘Solider’** and they would make me do so many things, kill so many people, torture and beat others. I couldn’t do a thing to stop it but I was forced to watch everything. Every time I would break the soldier’s control over me, they would fry my brain and freeze me. I couldn’t do anything and I was forgetting things every time they ‘wiped’ me.”

 

“I was sent here 3 months ago by HYDRA to kill Captain America but I couldn’t do it. I don’t why, but I care for him?

I managed to take back control and run. I’ve been trying to be a better person, helping people by night and trying to study Bucky Barnes by day.

It’s been hard though, I haven’t been able to trust anyone for fear that they are HYDRA. I have been sleeping in unoccupied flats, eating what I could scavenge, using the internet where I knew it would be harder to trace me.”

 

He gulped and sat up. He held Boudicca’s hands in his and looked into her eyes. “Last night, I thought I had found a friend who I could relax with. But I put you in a risky position and I am so sorry. I should have told you immediately who I was but I didn’t want you to think badly of me. I want to be the Bucky that you met and I’ve realised that I can’t be.”

 

 

He closed his eyes and exhaled. He hadn’t realised how much he had kept to himself till he opened up to Boudicca. He slowly reopened his eyes and awaited her verdict.

 

She spoke slowly and carefully. “It’s okay. We can get through this. I want to tell you about me but I think we need to eat and process what has happened. Is that okay with you?”

 

She wasn’t rejecting him? He wasn’t expecting that and felt extremely grateful.

With a shy smile, he nodded followed her to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that this will get better for them eventually. But sometimes, you need to go through sadness in order to get the happiness :)


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will get extremely heavy and will talk about mental health, self harming, homelessness, prostitution and slight theft. Please remember that this maybe triggering to some.  
> If you happen to be going through a similar situation, please talk to someone! You are never alone :)

Despite the openness between them, the silence was too much, so Boudicca turned on her CD player. David Bowie’s voice softly filled the room, closing the gaps on the awkward tension between the pair. Boudicca put a box of mushrooms and onions next to the chopping board and asked if Bucky could prepare them whilst she cooked the chicken.

 

Eventually, the silence fell away and they sang softly together under their breath. Boo mixed the vegetables and chicken together with pasta and put it into the oven.

 

She stood up and heard ‘Heroes’ begin to play. She began to sway her hips in time with the rhythm.

 

Bucky, enjoying her company and his task in cleaning up, dried his hands from where he had been washing pots and turned up the song. Boudicca turned around, her eyes questioning as Bucky walked towards her.

 

Carefully, showing Boo that he meant no harm, he tenderly interlocked his right hand into hers and placed his metal hand on her waist. He smiled shyly down at her and began to sway side to side with her.

 

_“We can be heroes, just for one day.”_ Bucky sang in a low and tender voice.

Boudicca blushed and leaned her head into Bucky chest, letting him lead her in their small dance.

…

 

They lay on opposite sides of the sofa, stuffed from the pasta bake, halfway through a bottle of wine, fully relaxed and enjoying the company of one and other. There was a storm going on outside and they agreed to take a chance and take the night off, it was a Sunday in November after all, who would really make a huge effort to go out?

 

They had put the TV on and switched to the first film that had popped up on. It was a black and white foreign film and had started watching it halfway through. There was nothing else on but they had started to get the gist of it- girl meets boy, girl is already engaged to an asshole, breaks it off and runs away with the one that is better looking without know anything particularly about each other.

 

Both Bucky and Boo started to put their own translation through of what each character was saying, making it far more enjoyable to watch. They had ended up curled up together under a blanket, eating a bowl of chocolate.

 

They were having so much fun up until the last moments of the film where the girl and boy kissed in front of a setting sun whilst trumpets sounded in the background. Boudicca stared right at them, her eye’s filled with… _sadness?_

 

“That will never happen to either of us” She said aloud.

 

She then realised that wasn’t her internal monologue and began to blush and splutter out apologises to Bucky.

 

He smiled sadly, “It’s okay. I am a criminal on the run. But how could it not happen to you? Maybe you haven’t met the right person yet.”

 

She shook her head, “I don’t deserve that kind of happiness.”

 

Bucky reached over for the remote and switched off the TV. He then looked down at the sad woman in his lap and waited till she met his eyes.

 

“You deserve happiness Boudicca. You do so much for everyone else and everyone admires you for it, even if they are too terrified to tell you to your face. You are so respected by all the bouncers and bar people because you help and care about so many. You will get all the happiness you want because you are a good person.”

 

Boudicca looked away, “What if I am not really a good person?” she whispered shakily.

 

Bucky’s eyes flashed with angry, “Who made you feel this way?”

 

“Me? Um… well… maybe… It’s a long story.” She replied weakly.

 

He caressed her face, “I will listen- all week if needs be.”

 

“Thank you,” She took a deep breath and began her tale.

…

 

_She was laying on her bed again. She’d just been released from hospital after cutting herself too deep. Arms all bandaged up and spaced out with the amount of morphine they had given her. She was almost beginning to enjoy this feeling!_

_Just as she began to fall asleep, she heard a mighty crash from the living area she shared with her housemates. She had gone downstairs to check it and felt her heart shatter. Her friends were throwing her things in a cardboard box ruthlessly._

_“We can’t live with someone so dangerous so you’re out!”_

_“I pay my rent here, I don’t have to leave!”_

_“You are though.” And with that they grabbed Boo by her hair and dragged her outside. Another two started throwing out her things from her bedroom window and front door, smashing and breaking the majority of it._

 

_How did they expect her to act? Her mother had just died and so she had no one left to turn to other than her friends. She suffered with depression, she was suicidal but she was on treatment, she wanted to get better._

 

_Her housemates had never had mental health difficulties so didn’t believe in her illness._

_They thought that she enjoyed it and did it for attention._

_And now they had left her homeless._

 

_She managed to find a sofa in a distant friend’s house for a couple of nights but she soon became too much of a burden so had to leave, her remaining possessions in a rucksack now. Because she wasn’t sleeping, eating or washing properly, it affected her work._

_She was fired after punching a customer who called her a ‘dirty whore’._

 

_She tried to get into emergency accommodation but she wasn’t a priority. She was left on the street._

 

 

_A few nights later, a drunk asshole offered her money for sex. She was desperate and cold, and, with a bit of luck she could even get a few hours’ sleep. So she had accepted his offer._

 

_He didn’t need much, one rushed blow job later and he had passed out on his bed. She used his shower, slept in his bed for a few hours, and helped herself to coffee and bread._

_It was 6am the next morning and he was still passed out and hadn’t paid her._

 

_He owed it her, she told herself as she opened his wallet and took a few notes._

 

_She left and went to the supermarket, stocking up on bread, water, pain killers and a small bottle of vodka._

 

 

_By the next night, she had ran out of money again. She was approached again, despite her position, because she still retained her youth and looks._

 

_She began to get braver, meeting people in bars, drinking more, using more of their things, taking more money and other things._

 

_She started to believe that she was using them more than they used her._

 

_Once she had made enough money in one town, she would jump on the train for the next- new outfit, new hair, new name- same deeds._

 

 

_That is when she began to get too comfortable and too confident. That is when shit that had hit the fan would be forced into the blender._

…

 

“Please **stop** Boudicca. We can try again another day, I’m so proud of you but you need to recharge.”

Bucky had gotten scared for her, she had broken down fully, eyes swollen and weeping, her voice hoarse.

 

She nodded quickly and he scooped her into his arms because of her instablity. He carried her over to her room and laid into her bed. He then  went to back out, before he heard a desperate cry.

 

“Stay with me **please**.”

 

“But it could be dangerous for you-“

 

“I don’t care, I can heal quick just don’t-“

 

“I won’t put you at risk ag-“

 

“ **I need you Bucky**. I will explain tomorrow.”

 

God, she was desperate and he was weak, Bucky thought.

 

With a sigh, he stripped off to his pants and t shirt quickly and climbed into the bed and spooned her, kissing her hair and whispering endearments till she fell asleep in his arms.

 

 

It was at that moment that Bucky vowed to hunt down every person who had made her feel less than the star she was.

 

 

**Oh shit,** he was getting attached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so it was inevitable and obvious but Bucky and Boudicca will be getting together but I want to outline now- THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!!!!  
> The physical danger that Bucky is to Boudicca is not good but I have chosen this path to demonstrate how messed up Boo's mental health is.  
> This story will probably not have a happy ending but a right ending that would be healthy for both characters.  
> But then again, I may change my mind!  
> Please comment either on here or on my tumblr!


	9. Update!

Hello people!

I hope you are enjoying this, I haven't had any bad reviews so it must be okay by default! 

Just to let you know, I am currently moving houses and have no wifi to post any chapters.

HOWEVER

I am still writing so when I do update, there will be several chapters at once!

Sorry for the inconvenience!

Don't forget to comment on here or on my tumblr Legohurtslikesatan.tumblr.com 

Thanks!


	10. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank magicrain34 for supporting me throughout writing this, she managed to convince me to change the character of whom would fuck up Boo in the next chapter! Ta love!

Boudicca woke with a start. She sat up quickly, getting ready to defend herself from the person who had held her in her sleep. Reality and her dreams blurred.

 

_“Ah Boudicca, you will always belong to me. I was made to rule you.”_

 

She felt his cold arms around her waist again, his breath on her face.

 

**“GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!”**

 

 

“Boo! It’s me, Bucky.”

 

Her nightmare vanished and was left with reality.

Bucky was holding her round her waist, not bothering to defend himself from her flailing arms, worry in his eyes.

 

Boo closed her eyes, took a calming breath and put her head in between her knees, forcing Bucky to release her waist.

 

He sat back for a moment, trying to understand what had happened. He looked at the clock, 9am, Monday morning. Whilst it seemed late to some, it was a very early wakeup call considering what work he did.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her reluctant tears and the sight of her shuddering body.

 

He cautiously placed his hand on her back. She stopped shuddering almost immediately. “It’s only me Boo” he said reassuringly.

 

She took another calming breath and turned to face him, “I’m sorry about that Bucky” and went to get up.

 

He held her hand, “Please don’t feel ashamed, you have done nothing wrong.”

 

He met her eyes and she sighed, relaxed her ridged shoulders and sat back into Bucky’s chest, “Thank you.”

 

They laid like that in silence until they fell back to sleep.

…

 

 

Bucky woke again at 11am. He looked down at the peaceful sleeping woman curled up on his chest, her blue hair making her look paler than usual, a slight blush on her face as her mouth was curled upwards into a half smile. Whatever she was dreaming of, he would not wake her now.

 

He looked back at the celling, watching a money spider climb across its web towards the light shade. They had to go back out tonight. Even though it was a Monday, it was coming towards the end of November. It generally meant that there would be company Christmas parties where single people would make stupid and potentially dangerous decisions under the pretence of _‘it’s Christmas soon and I’m lonely so fuck it’_.

 

They could probably hang round the bars that night. It was lucky it was a weekday, not as many bouncers would be around so it was less likely that he would be pointed out to the police as the guy who splatted that perverts face into a pancake with his metal arm.

 

Talking of pancakes, he decided that he wanted to make Boudicca breakfast in bed. She had had a rough night and she really needed a treat.

 

He managed to shimmy out from under Boo without disturbing her sleep majorly, putting on a pair of Boo’s unisex jogging bottoms. They fit surprising well apart from the three inches of leg showing at the bottom. He could see that she was curvy but couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t want to flaunt off her figure in her own home.

 

He would find out whoever this **fucker** was who managed to mess up Boudicca and slaughter him like the animal they are.

 

He went to the kitchen and put the CD player back on. Bowie’s voice filled the silence as Bucky looked through the cupboards and fridge. _Pancakes and bacon sound good_ , he thought as he made the batter.

…

 

Boudicca woke the next time to the smell of bacon. _He was a sweetie really when he wasn’t the Solider_ , she thought. She got out of bed, not bothering to put on any bottoms and walked out of her room in her t shirt and pants.

She was greeted to the sight of Bucky’s sweet ass wearing her joggers and smirked.

 

“We’ll have to get you some clothes of your own.”

 

Bucky nearly dropped the piece of bacon he was putting on to a plate. He had no idea she was there.

 

“It would be nice.” He said with a smile, maybe she wanted him around here after all.

 

They sat at the breakfast bar, talking about the weather, about when they would leave for work tonight, when and where it would be safest to get Bucky clothes all the while making terrible jokes and puns. They really enjoyed being around each other but they could feel the presence of the elephant in the room.

Boo still had to explain the rest of her story and what had happened that morning.

 

“We could get you some clothes just before the shops shut, no one will be particularly care about who you are, they’ll just want you out so they can go home.”

 

“You really are English!” Bucky teased, “It is a good idea, are you sure you can afford it?”

 

She smiled, “If I can afford a flat and high tech security, then I’m pretty sure I can pay for some pants.”

 

“Sorry, I just don’t want to be a burden,” Bucky blushed and looked away, “Do you have a job as well? Because I don’t want to be a risk to you losing-“

 

“I haven’t got a job, I just took what that fucker owed me.” She said curtly.

 

It said it was 12.30 on her clock, she supposed she had time to finish off her story before they went shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess who broke Boudicca and made her who she is now?  
> Before the fangirl tears begin, the alternative option could have been a LOT worse!  
> Please leave kudos, comments or suggestions either on here or on my tumblr, LegoHurtsLikeSatan if you have a moment!  
> Thanks guys!


	11. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Boudicca's backstory was supposed to be one chapter but I am really invested in it so it will probably take up a few chapters.  
> This chapter will being dealing with very graphic non con sex. If this is a trigger for you, I would suggest that you don’t read this, otherwise, please comment either on here or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan.

One year ago

 

It was Halloween night and Boudicca was in central London. She had managed to steal a black dress from the man’s wardrobe the night before, (luckily Boo was the similar size to his wife!). She wore a pair of cheap heels that she had found in the earlier hours on the underground, discarded from some woman who had more shoes to wear and throw on her way to her safe and warm home.

 

Boudicca was walking down some street with glamourous looking bars- maybe she could get off with some old bastard and rob a cardigan, it was getting colder.

She saw a group of loud girls her age and joined them in order to get past the bouncer into the selective establishment. Even though she didn’t stay in one particular area for longer than a week, she still feared that she wouldn’t be allowed into certain places because of how rugged and worn she looked.

 

She got into the club bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. It was getting harder to look healthy every night. Her pale brown hair hung lankly past her shoulders, her cheeks hollowed, eyes dark and protruding, her lips cracked and her body wane and bony. With shaky hands, she applied her cheap red lipstick thickly, smearing some slightly on to her finger and using it as a make shift blush. She slipped on a bobble to make a high pony tail and stepped back into the club.

She went to bar and ordered three shots of vodka and downed them quickly. The sooner she was drunk, the less she would care who had her for that night and the quicker she would sober up afterwards in order to leave.

 

She went into her small back pack to get out her little amount of money. She didn’t have much left, since she had to buy painkillers and water that day. She needed a good session tonight.

 

She looked along the bar, it was usually where the depressed and lonely would wash up. She looked at the people. There wasn’t a lot of choice, a young couple and their third wheel, a scrawny greasy man dressing as Tarzan and a balding man, drinking what looked like a cosmopolitan, looking deeply uncomfortable. Looked like Baldy was getting her tonight.

 

She went to stand up when another man sat down next to her.

 

“May I buy you a drink?”

 

He had emerald green eyes, black hair brushed back and cheek bones for days- a million times better than Baldy. Looks like Boo’s night was going to get **much** better!

…

 

They drank together all night. She found out that his name was Loki and that he had moved from Ascot? Axbridge? She couldn’t hear over the music and didn’t particular care. She just knew that he had money and class so that would do her for a week. Maybe she could even pay for a bed and breakfast one night!

 

But despite her plans for him, she couldn’t help but feel flattered in his presence, he was a complete gentleman, even when they danced he never put his hand lower than her waist. It was different and it relaxed her completely.

 

When they had, he hand given her his black tailored jacket from his three piece suit and offered to walk her home. She dismissed this and said that she was staying at a friends and that she had been kicked out so had nowhere to go.

 

He smiled and walked her to his house. When they reached Kensington Palace Gardens, Boo knew she had hit the jackpot. _Fuck!_ She could probably nick a nice pair of cufflinks and pay a deposit on a flat with them!

 

As soon as Loki closed the door, Boo push him back against it and began to kiss him wildly, hips gyrating into his, hands under his shirt. She tugged on his lip with her teeth and he growled.

 

It was almost an instant change, gone was the gentleman and was replaced by sex craved animal. Loki grasped her hair with one hand, the other hand groping her arse. He pushed her against the wall, thrusting his clothed manhood into her already damp panties. He forced her head side wards and bit her neck, making her groan. She pushed her chest out and his hands found themselves fondling her ample breasts. He chuckled as her groans became more obvious.

“What a beautiful whore you are! Such beautiful music you make!” he said as he rolled his hips to emphasise the meaning behind his words.

He picked her up and carried her upstairs, kissing and sucking bruises into her neck all the way. She groped blindly at his shirt, managing to open a few buttons by the time he kicked a door open and threw her on to the bed.

This was definitely a night she would enjoy more than usual!

 

Loki crawled up the bed, hunger in his eyes. He claimed her lips roughly, his hand pulling back Boo’s ponytail and kissing down her neck. When he got to her collar bone, he sucked his mark into her skin. With a grin he sat up,

 

“I can’t kiss you with your clothes on.”

 

To her surprise, he didn’t give her opportunity to take them off, rather, he ripped them from her body. She was angry but too surprised and awed to say anything, she’d not met anyone like him before.

 

Then he delicately bit Boo’s panties and ripped them from her legs. _Holy Shit_. His lips then clasped around her clit and suckled gently and firmly, his hands massaging her arse cheeks.

 

“Please Loki!” She whimpered, wriggling her hips suggestively. “Please finger me now! I need more!”

 

He lifted off her cunt with a chuckle, “Whilst my fingers are wonderful, I have something that is much better.”

 

He removed his waist coat, continued to take off the shirt that Boo had started, pulling it off and flexing the taunt muscles of his chest. With long arms and fingers, he unbuttoned his trousers and slipped them off, revealing a very large and very obvious bulge. He looked at Boudicca under hooded eyes, smirked and took off his pants revealing his dick.

 

Boudicca couldn’t look away- it was the biggest she’d ever seen, it had to be around 12 inches! She’d only ever seen them as novelty gifts, she never thought they’d _actually exist_. He was _very_ girthy and flushed a bright red on his tip. Boudicca’s mouth went dry, there was **no way** she could take that.

 

“Please Loki, I-“

 

“I’m coming pet.” He put his tip to her entrance.

 

“No, Loki. I don’t think- **AAAAGGGHHHH!”**

 

 _Fuck!_ It hurt _so_ much! He could feel him hit her cervix and it was unbelievably painful.

 

“Please Loki st-“

 

“Oh gods Boudicca!” Loki panted, his eyes wild. “I’m only halfway in but I am in Valhalla!”

 

“No Loki st-“

 

**SLAP**

 

“Shut up and take it like the _whore_ you are! This is exactly what you wanted, **isn’t it?!”** He thrust even deeper.

 

She arched in pain, trying to shift away from him, tears spilling down her face, “No please Loki, No-“

 

He raised his hand again but instead of striking her other cheek, he grasped her throat, stopping her sentence. “I know exactly who you are and what you do, so I am going to make you my own personal slut.” He sighed as her muscles spasmed unintentionally around his dick, “But first I need to open you up pet.”

 

With that he thrust all the way in. Boudicca felt the pain on her cervix, her internal muscles tear and blood spill out of her.

 

Loki kept on thrusting, sighing and groaning as he felt her blood lubricate his dick. Boudicca could still feel him thrusting unforgivingly as she fainted.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the idea of Loki being a full on bad guy- I am a huge fan of the character but I think sometimes, people forget that he really is a sadistic shit. I may write a separate fanfic on him at some point but he is the true bad guy in this one.
> 
> And another thing, taking a huge dong isn't an easy feat so I wrote this scene a lot more realistically than other fanfics.
> 
> This fanfic is gonna end with really sad :(
> 
> Please give me comments! I want to create a really emotional story but I am really struggling to come up with nice things that can happen to Bucky and Boudicca so give me ideas! Something they can do that makes them happy!


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter!  
> I did want to give Bucky and Boo a nice moment but my brain went "Ah fuck it!"

Present Day

 

Boudicca put down the cold cup of tea she had made. She was actually a lot calmer than she thought she would be, but she didn’t want to push the boat too far quite yet. She looked up at Bucky.

 

He had listened intently, being careful not to disturb her flow. He knew how hard it must be to talk about this to someone for the first time after sitting on it for so long.  He admired her more than he thought he could, being homeless and having to use her body to get somewhere safer at night. _Fuck!_

She had done that for a long time and was still here today. She was physically better, she ate regularly, she had a flat, she had gained weight and her hair was strong. Her mental state though… maybe not as healthy. That Loki had really gotten under her skin and effected so much that she still had nightmares about him.

 

He realised that she had stopped completely now and was staring out into space. Bucky stood up, walked round the breakfast bar and held her into his chest, kissing the top of her head.

 

“I will find him Boudicca, and I will make him pay for what he has done to you.” Bucky swore.

 

She smiled sadly, “Thank you, but I doubt you’ll find him.”

 

“I am a trained assassin, I will.”

 

“Actually, he’s not from this planet and he’s already holed up in some space prison.”

 

Bucky did a double take. Boo looked up with a smile,

 

“Yeah, he is a god.”

…

 

 

They were in urban outfitters of all places! It was after 5pm and the majority of the other shops had shut. Bucky had groaned but eventually agreed that it probably was safest, what with their age and general appearance. It also meant that they could fit in a lot better with the younger people in the club and not get a second glance by security or police.

 

It didn’t mean they didn’t despise the shop any less. _Overpriced tacky shit_ thought Bucky. They spent a good while trying on ridiculous items and complaining about the quality.

After a while, they walked out with new clothes. Long sleeved shirts for Bucky, all in a variety of checked patterning. Skinny jeans for the both of them and a new thick long coat with many pockets for the pair.

 

 

They travelled back to Boo’s via the dark and dangerous ally’s, knowing that they would be safer.

It was narrower and darker in this part of the ally so Bucky walked in front.

 

Suddenly, he heard a scuffle and a low and urgent voice.

 

“Give me your wallet and your girlfriend doesn’t die.”

 

Bucky turned around quickly. Boudicca was held hostage by a bearded man, a pocket knife pressed to her throat. She didn’t look afraid. Rather, she had a smirk plastered on her face. She nodded at Bucky.

 

“I think you picked on the wrong woman.”

 

“I’m not joking! Give me your wallet now!” He pressed the knife harder into her neck.

 

Boo gave a dark chuckle and flipped him over her body. In shock, he let go of the knife as the smaller woman stood over him.

 

“You should have listened to him.” Boo said with a smile.

 

She picked up the discarded knife and played with it in her hands. He began to get up when Boo pushed him back down and pressed her knee into his neck.

 

“I’m going to hurt you now and then I will let you go,” She looked at the knife, “Judging from the cleanliness of this knife, I’d get to a hospital quickly.”

 

She raised the knife and plunged it into his hand that was trying to push the knee away. Blood spurted and ran bright red. With a mad cackle, she plunged the knife into his other hand that was clutching her arm.

 

He howled in pain cradling his bloody mess of hands.

 

Boudicca stood up, picked up her bags and continued to walk home without a second glance.

…

 

Bucky stood frozen and horrified.

 

He watched **her** plunge the knife into the old man’s hands completely, stabbing herself in the process.

He watched **her** enjoy causing him pain.

He heard **her** laugh joyfully at his screams.

 

He stared at the bloody, whimpering man as Boo skipped by him, singing under her breath.

 

This woman wasn’t safe; to herself or others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapter will explore further into Boudicca's mental unravelling.  
> I've decided how I'm gonna end this now and be warned it will be heart wrenching!  
> I'm gonna leave this story with the opportunity of a sequel in case any of you need more, especially when looking it Boudicca and Loki's relationship!  
> That's all for now! Please remember to leave kudos and comments on either here or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan!


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am sorry about how long this took to write, but I'm sure you'll realise why when you read it.  
> This chapter contains graphic rape, violence and abuse, insanity and major feels!  
> You have been warned.

Bucky couldn’t go straight back to that woman’s house, he needed time to think. He knew that she may be messed up but he didn’t expect that at all. One minute, she’s the most loving woman who would get upset over someone not recycling a plastic bottle. The next moment, she would turn into the most horrifying monster, who enjoyed causing people unnessecery pain, who would describe her life with all gory detail not be fazed.

Whilst she was not intentionally cruel, she was dangerous.

 

He walked back to Boudicca’s eventually, knocking on he locked door.

 

The door creaked open to reveal Boo, holding a bowie knife to his chest, hair dripping wet on to her towel. He heard soft music and bath water being drained.

 

“Decided to come back?” She held the knife firmly still, her eyes suspicious.

 

“I had to make sure you are alright.”

 

Boo sighed and dropped the knife to her side, letting him enter.

 

“What happened Boudicca?”

 

“I enjoyed myself.” She replied with a dark smile. She forced her mouth to his, pushing him against the door. Bucky tried to move his head sideward but she put her hands either side of his face and forced him to accept her tongue in his mouth, moaning slightly as she established dominance. She moved her leg towards his crotch, allowing him to rut against her bare flesh.

 

“It’s such a shame that you weren’t here earlier, when I was covered in blood and horny as **fuck**.”

 

Bucky wrenched his face away attempting to escape Boudicca’s grip but failing miserably.

 

“What the hell Boo? Why would you even say that? That man was taken to hospital!”

 

“Oh Bucky! That’s all part of the fun right? It isn’t good sex unless there’s blood involved!” With that she bit the tender skin of Bucky’s neck, sucking and making her mark.

Bucky couldn’t help but moan. He was really trying to keep his sanity but _god_ did her mouth feel wonderful.

 

He yelped when she broke his skin with her teeth.

 

“No-mmph” She put her hand down his trousers and grabbed his dick. It felt wonderful to have her cool smooth skin over his hot hard cock.

 

“See! I knew you were enjoying yourself!”

 

Bucky tried to slow his breathing down, “This isn’t right Boudicca.” He said in a shaky voice.

 

“No? Then why the hell am I so wet?” And with that she pulled off her towel and forced his hand to feel her slick folds. She bucked lightly on his fingers, moaning low. “Please Bucky, I need more.”

 

She pumped his cock slowly, savouring his whimpers, her other hand scratching lightly down his chest.

 

“C’mon Bucky, “She moaned, “We can be virtuous people tonight, but right now I **need** your cock.”

 

She kissed the bite she had given him harshly and pulled away from him. Bucky actually whined at the loss of contact.

 

With a smirk, she sauntered into the bedroom.

 

Bucky was confused and upset. He needed her touch but he didn’t want **her**.

 

This woman hurt people for fun.

She threatened him with a knife.

She touched him without his permission.

He needed to leave but he wanted to help her.

 

He straightened out his clothes and breathed deeply. He didn’t want this at all. He walked stiffly to the sofa, his hard on becoming softer as he realised what she had done to him.

…

 

_(flashback)_

_He had let her into his home. He had nursed her back to health. He protected her. The least she could do was put out and stop being such a stuck up bitch._

 

_“I love you” as Loki held her nostrils closed to force her to open her mouth and accept her meal._

 

_“I love you” as Loki attempted to drown her in the bath water when she threatened to slash her wrists._

 

_“I love you” as Loki slapped her for sassing him in front of company._

 

_“I love you” as Loki beat Boudicca for trying to call for the authorities._

 

_“I love you” as Loki slashed the soles of her feet for trying to run away._

 

_“I love you too” as Loki claimed Boudicca heart, body and soul._

…

 

 

Bucky jumped as the bedroom door slammed open.

 

“So you couldn’t be bothered to go through with what you wanted?” Boudicca said harshly.

 

“I don’t-“

 

“Oh Bucky! You really thought you could play the innocent card on me? I know **exactly** what you wanted from the beginning!”

 

“Boudicca, I have no idea-“

 

**“YOU ALL WANT THE SAME!”** She roared.

 

“Sex and fucking blood!” She said in a quieter voice.

 

“So why can’t I have it too?” She murmured as she stalked towards Bucky, eyes blazing.

 

Bucky curled up on the sofa instinctively. He didn’t want anyone else to touch him or make him do anything he didn’t want. But he couldn’t let the Solider takeover- he would rip her limb from limb.

 

 

She grabbed him by his hair, forcing his head backwards, leaving him opening and gasping for air. She roughly kissed him, forcing him to take her tongue into his mouth, her hand pulling his head further back. She put her other hand over his crotch.

 

“Did you dare go soft on me?! I let you into my life and you don’t even like the sight of me?!” She growled into his ear, harshly biting his lobe.

 

Bucky let out an undignified moan. He was trying so hard to not get turned on by her hand, but he loved **Boudicca** , not this **monster**.

 

 

Boudicca could feel his restraint and sat on his hips.

 

She let go of his hair and slapped him hard, causing his face to hit the sofa. “You ungrateful whore!” She spat as she rotated her hips into his crotch, forcing his body to become aroused.

 

“Boo, please…”

 

“Please what Bucky? Fuck you, let you fuck me? Hurt you again?” She slapped the other side of his face causing it to ricochet and drop limp into his chest. She forced it up, watching his eyes fill with fear and pity, a small amount of blood to dribble from his mouth down his chin.

 

 

With a dark chuckle, Boudicca kissed him again, licking up the blood, searching his mouth with her tongue. With one final thrust of her hips, she decided her was hard enough.

 

With a rough tug, his shirt was pulled off his head, exposing his chest and the pale scars that littered it. God he didn’t want to hurt her, but he knew that the metal arm would be too much for her.

 

 

Before he realised, his metal arm had grasped the hand that had freed his dick from its confides and clenched **hard**.

 

He was about to apologise when he heard her soft laughter.

 

“It looks like you have no control over your body after all.” And she pried his fingers off her hand and forced it above his head, grabbing the flesh hand and forced them to be held together under one of her hands. “ **Now** it’s finally getting fun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to majorly change the character developments over this story. I wanted to write a story where there is no particular bad guys or good guys, just people forced into these bad situations and choices.  
> I don't think I want to write the rest of the rape, I think the next chapter will be the aftermath.  
> Again! I am so sorry for the feels and I want readers to know that this is a bad situation for all and there is always help and a way out.  
> Please comment either below or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but I think this fic is starting to come to a close.  
> There is opportunity for a sequel if people want it!

_(After Age of Ultron, New York)_

 

“Tony! Tony! Who is responsible for the events in Sokovia?”

 

“Hey, Mister Stark! Where’s Banner? I thought you two were-“

 

“Are the Avengers still avenging problems caused by themselves?”

 

“Mister Stark!”

 

“Ironman!”

 

“Anthony!”

 

Tony attempted to get passed the reporters to get back into his tower. It had been a long weekend and he needed a pillow and a bottle of whiskey asap. His head pounded as he gingerly walked towards his door.

 

“Hey arsehole! When are you gonna sort out the monsters on our doorsteps?!”

 

“I’m sorry Mister Stark about my client, but we would really like to discuss a local matter-“

 

Tony turned around to face a pleasant faced woman. Her hair was hastily put into a bun and she held a weather worn notebook. She looked like a college student and was definitely the most polite and civil in the crowd. Reports pushed her aside to enclose Tony further. Her papers scattered as she tripped and fell on the pavement. _Reporters were cruel,_ he thought as he pushed through the mob to pull her up.

 

“Follow me and discuss this local matter. Bring your creepy friend if you want, just make sure he doesn’t piss on my carpet.”

 

The three of them got through the tower doors.

 

“Tell me what they’ve got on them FRIDAY.” Tony called to the ceiling.

 

_“No weapons or cameras or any kind of recording devices sir.”_

 

Tony looked confused for a moment but then put on a confident smirk.

 

“So you decided that you were going to do a charitable thing and help a bum off the streets?” He sneered as he pulled out his wallet. He was **sick** of people using him for his intelligence, his money, his suits! It would be nice if people wanted to hang out with him for no reason.

 

The young woman blushed deeply and began to shake her head vigorously, “We don’t want your money Mister Stark, we need your help, please!”

 

Now Tony was really really confused! He shrugged, put his wallet away again and gestured for the pair to follow him into the elevator.

 

The young girl gave a grateful smile whilst the older man gave Tony a filthy look, he shrugged it off.

 

Tony kept shushing the girl in the elevator, he needed to get a painkiller before he could deal with her.

 

The elevator came to a stop and Tony led the way into his top floor foyer. They had cleaned it up well whilst he was avenging, even restocked his bar. He stepped behind the bar and got three glasses out and filled them with whiskey.

 

“So I am-“

 

“Lucy Spencer, student paramedic, top marks, still lives with your parents. And you are Roger Smith, unemployed and homeless. What can I do for you guys?” Tony finished smugly, as if he was going to let a pair of strangers into his tower.

 

“Well, um… I came here to help Roger get his issue to light…” Lucy was nervous, maybe she went to the wrong person for help.

 

“Couldn’t the police help?”

 

“Do you really think that they listen to people like me Stark?”

 

Tony was surprised by the lack of finesse Roger had, he had downed his whiskey as quick as Tony had, wincing slightly as he helped himself to a refill. He attempted to pour the liquid into his glass but could not help but shake slightly, gasping quickly when some split over and on to his bandaged hands.

 

“What happened there? Paper cut?”

 

“Something like that.” Roger grunted as he began to unravel the bandages. He winced again as the last of the bandage was tugged from his skin, breaking the scabs on each of his palms.

 

Tony looked over at Lucy, where she shook her head, “I’ve done all I can at the moment for his hands, we came to you to try and get the woman who did this to him.”

 

“Tell me about her.” Tony said quickly, if he could get this woman, it could save some of his and the Avengers reputation.

 

Roger smiled and laughed gruffly, “Try not to laugh and judge afterwards. I was walking back to where I was camping in the ally after feeding the birds in the park all day and she was there. Laughing. Cackling. I tried to get away but I fell over. She came over and tried to stab me with a pair of daggers, she tried to get my face but I put my hands up and…” He raised his hands and smiled.

 

“Where did she go?” Seemed like an easy enough headline, “Ironman locks up dangerous face stabber.”

 

“I dunno, I fainted and woke up alone.”

 

“Description?”

 

“She was really strong, like it didn’t look like she had to put much effort into making holes in me! Really fast, crazy!”

 

“Height? Build?”

 

“Actually, she looked like she was toned but on the small side, young, really bright green eyes. Blue hair!”

 

Tony was already on his phone, checking out security cameras in New York over the past few days. Roger looked over at his screen.

 

“That’s her! There’s the **she- devil**!”

 

Tony’s stomach churned slightly as he grew pale. That was Loki’s lover and companion during the Chitari invasion.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Boudicca was curled up in a ball in the shower having a panic attack.

 

She had hurt Bucky.

She laughed in his face.

She had enjoyed his pain.

She had  raped him.

She was the exact nightmare she fought against.

She had submitted to her darker and crazier side.

 

Loki was right, he had always been right about her. She enjoyed making people submit to her, using any methods possible.

She was his equal.

She was a monster.

She had tried to change her ways but nothing had particularly changed about her. She still used fear to her advantage, she manipulated people to her will, and she still used her body as a red herring for her true purpose. She even lived on Loki’s stolen money. Nothing had changed about her and now she accepted that.

 

 

There was a soft tap on the bathroom door.

“Boo?”

After all she had done to him, he still was around and concerned for her health. She almost pitied him.

“Please come out, I know that that wasn’t you. Please Boo.”

Boudicca stood up, turned off the cold water and wrenched open the bathroom door, not bothering to cover up.

“But I did it.”

 

Bucky stood there, eye swollen from one of the punches that Boo gave him, neck black from bruises with one prominent bite covered in dry blood, his chest covered in scratches, his wrists sore and red. Boudicca had done that to him, there was no one else to blame. Realisation crept up on him and his eyes filled with a reluctant acceptance.

 

“Please Boudicca, I am not going to blame you or-“

“No Bucky.”

 

She looked downwards and began to speak slowly and clearly.

“Pack a rucksack, take anything you want, I will have no use for it. Take all the money you can. Please leave.”

“But-“

“NO BUCKY! I’ve hurt you enough.” She attempted to steady her breathing, “I want you to leave tonight. I will cause a distraction big enough so that you will be able to slip through.” She lifted his head between her hands, “You need to find yourself in peace and security. New York is too dangerous right now, I am too dangerous. Please Bucky, save yourself.”

She tip toed and kissed his forehead, let go of his face and walked into her bedroom, locking the door. She put her head under her pillow to smother the sounds of her reluctant sobs.

…

 

 

Bucky was hurt yes, but her telling him to leave hurt more. He thought he had made one friend despite the Solider but for the first time ever, it wasn’t him who caused the pain. He limped to a closet and pulled out a hiking backpack. His eyes filled with tears as he packed food, cutlery and knifes. He had only been around for that weekend, but he felt more at home here than anywhere else. He pulled out the clothes that they had bought together that day and took them into the bathroom where he had a final shower.

…

 

 

Boudicca straightened out her long, sleeveless leather coat. It had been a gift from Loki that she thought she had gotten rid of previously. She shrugged and accepted her position as Loki’s equal. She had the strength and wit of him, why not embrace that dark side as well? Swiping eyeliner on, she was careful not to cry anymore, villain’s didn’t cry or feel remorse. She needed to look like a villain tonight or how would Bucky get away?

…

 

 

They stepped out together, Bucky packed and ready to run, Boudicca ready for the fight of her life. They had to keep up their resolve if their plan was to work. All they wanted to do was hold each other and get back into bed and kiss away the nightmares.

But they couldn’t.

It wasn’t that simple for them.

Their lives would never be that cosy.

They had been changed completely and they now had to make a life with these changes embraced.

 

 

Boudicca turned to Bucky, almost unrecognisable from the woman he knew. This woman screamed dangerous, from her leather coat and laced black boots to her black, sharp make up. This woman was the villain, not the hero.

 

“Have you got everything you can? I am not coming back here.”

Bucky nodded robotically, unable to trust his voice.

 

“Here.” Boudicca handed Bucky a set of leather bound notebooks, all empty. “To write down your adventures and what you can remember. So you can just read it and know you can trust it because you wrote it.”

Bucky was so touched. He couldn’t help but pull Boudicca into a crushing hug.

 

“I love you Boudicca.”

“I know Bucky.”

 

They parted and held hands once more, leaving the apartment forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is almost over. I plan to write some fluffy and/or smutty oneshots after this so please subscribe for updates!  
> Please remember to comment either on here or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it has taken me so long to upload! I've just started university again so I haven't had as much free time to write!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!  
> I hope that this chapter will be worth the wait!

Tony was dozing in his chair by his main computer. He had been looking into security cameras, secret reports, the SHIELD files, even tags on tumblr to find Boudicca. She had been out of sight, out of mind since the battle of New York. A lot of things had changed. Blue hair and leather cat suits were very popular. People were dressing more and more like the heroes they loved. Unfortunately, they were also dressing in the fashion of their heart throbs, despite their villainous actions.

Whilst most of these types of people dressed as Loki, Boudicca had a small following of women who saw her as a role model representing courage and strength. _Why Boudicca? Why not Black Widow? She was way more badass,_ Tony had thought.

Despite his and FRIDAY’s efforts, Tony couldn’t find anything reliable on Boudicca. He was tired but was desperate for people to see him as a local hero as well as an Avenger. He needed to do one good deed before his image was completely ruined when the journalists would descend on Sokovia.

 

They hadn’t heard of Boudicca before Loki, she had no recorded history, it was like she was an invented persona. She hadn’t even a last name, the only surname that SHIELD had put on her was ‘Laufeyson’ because of Loki’s apparent claim over her. They had caught images of her in Berlin, looking like a movie star, yet she looked like she was under Loki’s control, much like Barton. They saw her in a still, being crushed under a wreckage of cars during Cap’s and Loki’s fight. When they had captured Loki, SHIELD agents had attempted to find Boudicca but found no trace. The next time they had seen her, she was striding through the battle of New York, looking for Loki. She was stronger, kicking cars out of her path, clearing wreckage in order to let civilians escape with her bare hands. No one stopped her, there was no one who realised who she was. That was the last known footage of her in her full regal. No one heard from her, no one knew who she was or what happened to her. No one saw her as a villain when compared to Loki. So the world forgot about her.

Until now.

Attacking a homeless man was disgusting.

Attacking for no apparent reason was dangerous.

Mutilation was monstrous.

 

She had been careful not to get caught beforehand, but something had changed. Something or someone was her trigger and now she was potentially as dangerous as Loki, especially with her strength, both physically and mentally.

With SHIELD gone, it was up to Tony to sort this out. He couldn't let another ‘Wanda’ appear. He couldn’t let another potentially dangerous person go crazy with power.

…

 

 

Peter Parker had finished delivering his pizzas and was let go for the night. Instead of going home, he sat on top of the pizza shop building, finishing his homework, eating a free pizza, all whilst in his Spider- Man costume.

He expected it to be a quiet night, seen as though it was a Monday. It was the perfect time for the less theatrical ‘bad guys’ to rob a store, steal a student’s rucksack filled with their expensive laptop or crash a car for the insurance. The ‘big bads’ always did their ridiculous crimes during busy periods on busy days, probably because they wanted attention. For this reason, the quieter nights were some of the most dangerous for people just trying to get home from a busy day at work. Every New Yorker considered it to be a normal weekend when some costumed ‘big bad’ tried and take over the world. They didn’t expect danger would come quietly anymore so made 'quieter' nights more deadly.

 

**BANG!**

 

_Or maybe not!_

 

Peter looked across the city, focusing on the source of the sound. Even if he wouldn’t have heard it, he could have seen the fiery explosion emerging from Times Square. _Why did all the bad guys have to cause a riot there?_

 

Sighing, he closed his text book and webbed it to the roof, he’d have to come back for it later. He pulled his mask down over his face and leapt from the roof.

…

 

 

Boudicca threw a car into another. Another explosion!

She had been restraining her strength for so long! It felt so good to not worry about hurting anyone! Although she was distracting for Bucky, she made sure that she was destroying cars of the fuckers that she had threatened in clubs for months. For the last three months, she had followed the would-be perpetrators to their cars and homes and found out what she could. Just so she knew where to find them if they tried anything again. It felt good to destroy their cars! Their crimes would never be found out by the police but Boudicca could leave a message to them.

 

As much as she was enjoying herself, she made sure that the cars were clear and empty. She had to cling on to her last bit of humanity. She looked for her next car, alarms and screams around her. The air was hot and ashy. She was so dramatic, but she had never put on a performance this large before! Her eyes caught a number plate she recognised and smiled. Inside the car, the woman from Saturday paled. It looked like she was on her way home from a day in the office and her car was stuck in the jam caused by people fleeing and leaving their engines in idle. Boudicca remembered the young boy’s face and anger flood her system. She stalked to the car, her coat fluttering behind her, eyes blazing!

She wrenched the door from the car with ease, holding it in the air with one hand.

 

“Hey there darling! You working hard?” Boudicca laughed manically as she pulled the hag by her shirt from the car and held her in the air, dropping the car door at her feet with a mighty clang!

 

“I never forget a face, I hope you never forget mine if you ever think of molesting anyone else!” With a smile, Boudicca threw the woman across the street waiting to hear her groan as she would smack the ground hard. Boudicca _loved_ the sound of people in pain. She would savour it as she destroyed her car.

 

The groan of pain never came, instead a sigh of relief rang in Boudicca’s ears. She span around and found that the hag had been caught by a person in a red leotard. This was new! In all her nights out, she had never come across them in the clubs. This meant that they was either outside by choice or because of their age.

 

“Hey kid!” Boudicca called cockily across the street, “You wanna play catch with me?”

 

“Not particularly! I learnt that throwing people was rude!” Peter put the woman down, watching her run without a second glance, “What did she ever do to you?”

 

“Nothing much, just annoyed me!” Boudicca lifted the hag’s car over her head, “If I were you, I wouldn’t annoy me either leotard man!” And with that she threw the car at him.

 

Peter dived out of the way, leaping to a building out of her reach, “Actually, it’s Spider- Man but I can see why you would make that assumption.”

 

“Do you ever shut up?”

 

“Nope.” Peter replied and webbed her wrists together, “You’re under citizen’s arrest!”

 

Boudicca laughed and shook the web away with ease. She then walked cockily towards him, climbing through the air as if she was walking up some stairs. Peter stared at her, this wasn’t like any costumed thug he had faced against before, his web should have solidified around her wrists like concrete!. In his shock, he didn’t react fast enough as her hand wrapped around his throat.

 

“See you later Spiderling!” As she threw him back to the roof of which he came from, landing with a bruising thud. Dazed, he was about to stand up and swing back into to action when he heard the sound of thrusters.

 

It couldn’t be!

 

“Great job kid, I’ll do the rest, you go home!” Said Ironman as he blasted towards the blue haired woman. That was so cool! Having his idol tell him that he did a great job. He didn’t go straight home, he sat on the ledge, waiting for the moment when Ironman defeated her so he could be confident that the night would be safe again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to include Spider- Man in this! Spider- Man is awesome!  
> Remember to comment either on here or on my tumblr LegoHurtsLikeSatan!


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're wrapping up this story!  
> I will publish the last chapter tonight and then I have left room for an epologue.  
> It would be nice to write a sequel as there are many plotlines I could follow right now.  
> Thank you for taking the time to read and comment and subscribe to this story, I have really enjoyed writing!  
> THE END IS NIGH!

_Ah finally!_ Thought Boudicca. She was hoping for all the Avengers but if she managed to distract probably the only one who could discover Bucky, then he may escape.

 

“And here I was thinking that you’d never find me Stark!”

 

“I’m sorry that I took so long Cinderella, but someone disappeared after the ball. Is that why you trashed these cars? Because you missed me?”

 

“Ah Stark, you almost know me too well! But no, I just did a super sneeze and all the cars exploded!” Boudicca said sarcastically.

 

“For a moment there, I almost believed you! It’s a shame that you’ve hooked up with Loki, we could be best buddies!”

 

“Oh shut the fuck up Stark and fight me!” Boudicca launched herself up to his height and punch his helmet, knocking him unsteady in the air.

 

“That wasn’t polite!” He said, launching his repulsior ray at her. Boudicca dodged it easily and laughed!

 

“There was a reason I didn’t fight along Loki during the battle.”

 

“Because you would have lost as well as your emo boyfriend?”

 

Boudicca cocked an eyebrow, “No, because I would have outshined him, so he didn’t let me fight.”

 

_“Sir, we are in immediate danger of losing altitude.”_

 

“Really FRIDAY? I don’t think so.”

 

_“But Sir-“_

 

With a swift hand movement from Boo, Tony found himself crumpled on the ground. He attempted to refire the repulsiors, but no matter to what power, he couldn’t do any more than stand.

 

“What’s happening FRIDAY?” Stark yelled.

 

Boudicca lifted her leg, revealing the titanium tread of her boot, “I’m kicking your butt Stark.” Boudicca replied smugly and kicked him in his chest, making him fall to the ground.

 

Boudicca strolled towards Stark’s body, “See Stark, you rely so heavily on your suit that you haven’t prepared yourself for hand to hand combat.”

 

She stood over his suit and sat on the stomach plate. She pulled the face plate off and gave a sadistic smile, “I have the higher ground.”

 

“Are you sure?” Tony replied smugly.

 

Before Boudicca could question his last remark, Tony fired his chest repulsior and the world turned black.

 

 

… 

Bucky looked off into the distance. He had made it on to a boat to Europe using one of the many fake ID’s he had. They were just leaving the port when the explosions started, and now they had stopped. As much as he admired Boudicca’s strength, he knew that she had no intention of leaving free. She used herself as a distraction and Bucky could never repay that debt.

 

He could, however, travel to Eastern Europe and try to find out more about this Loki and grant revenge for her. It would be nice to think and focus on something other than his own life and his own sorrows.

 

He had to do it for her.


	18. Chapter Seventeen

“Wakey wakey sleeping beauty!”

 

Boudicca woke with a start. She was laid on a bed in the centre of a circular, well lit, white, sterile room. Opposite her was a white sofa with a small stack of books lent against it. The other side was a shower head, a toilet and simple basin. The floor slopped downwards towards the centre. Above her a small, cylindrical hole held a sheet of glass, of which Stark looked down upon her.

Boudicca began to fly up to Stark when bright red lights flashed and a shrill siren rang through the room.

 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Stark called down, “If you sit for a moment I will explain why!”

 

Reluctantly, she sat down again on the bed with a pout. It was because her head was banging, she told herself.

 

“When I kicked your butt, we checked you over and we found that you weren’t an ordinary woman-“

 

“No shit Sherlock!” Boo grumbled.

 

Stark just chuckled and continued, “I had FRIDAY check you out and it seems as though you can manipulate mass! So this chamber is measured constantly, any change in mass and these walls collapse and you drown. I had no idea that it was possible until I found that you have Asgardian enhancements, from your boyfriend no doubt-“

 

“He was never my boyfriend, he was my captor.” Boudicca said quietly.

…

 

_“C’mon Boudicca, I bought you that dress specifically, please put it on.” Pled Loki._

 

_“But I don’t want to go out…” Boo replied in a small voice._

 

_“Well you are!” Loki said with a snarl, grabbing her by her bruised wrist. She hissed in pain. “You did that to yourself! Don’t start moaning about that now.” Loki chastised._

 

_He tried again, “Please put on that beautiful dress and I will heal all your bruises completely.”_

 

_He knelt down and said lovingly, “I want to show this planet its new Queen and how much her King worships her.”_

…

 

“I was never just his girlfriend, I was his obsession”

…

 

_Loki finished his last dance with her, his eyes filled with pure happiness and love. Her green silk skirt finished swaying as she met his eyes. The German ballroom casting soft light on his face and she felt as though she was seeing the real Loki for the first time._

_He held her tightly to his chest and put his lips to her ear._

 

_“You have to leave now Boudicca,” Loki whispered frantically, “I am going to do something awful and I need to know that you are safe. There is someone far more powerful in charge of me and making me do things I don’t want to do. I love you Boudicca and I need to keep you safe. You are the most precious thing to me now and I can’t let him find you. I will come back for you when it is safe.”_

 

_Boudicca looked him in the eyes and only saw truth and fear. She nodded and kissed him feverishly._

 

_It was the first time that she had kissed him._

…

“I was his trophy.”

 

…

_“Where is she?” Loki demanded as he climbed into the plane away from the falling helicarrier._

_“There was an accident in Berlin Sir.”_

 

_~~~_

 

_Loki ran through to the makeshift medical bay. He pulled aside the curtains and was horrified by the sight that met him._

_Boudicca lay on a bed, wires and tubes protruding from her body. Bruised and raw, her hair no longer the silken brunette tresses but patchy and matted with blood. She had been found under some rubble after Loki’s fight with Captain America and had been kept alive during his ‘capture’._

 

_There was a long beep, followed by a long electrical shock. Her body writhed in place, her throat screamed raw despite being unconscious and having a tube stuck down it, until the charged stopped and the heart rate monitor returned to normal._

 

_“How long has she been like this?”_

 

_“3 days.”_

 

_“3 days?” He held the doctor by his throat, “SHE HAS BEEN DYING AND BEEN RESUSITATED CONTINUOUSLY FOR THREE DAYS!?!?!” He threw the man into a pillar, where he crumpled either unconscious, paralysed or dead._

 

_“We have done all we can, we have exhausted our human knowledge and cures, there’s nothing more we can do.” Another doctor explained._

 

_“Well there’s only one thing I can do now since you let her die!” Loki all but screamed._

 

_In a low voice he whispered to Boudicca, “Please stay with me my love.” With a wave of his hand, the tube down her throat disappeared and his lips were pressing against hers, tears escaping his closed eyes._

 

…

“He moulded and recreated me.”

 

…

_Boudicca woke with a start._

_“Shh my love, don’t move too quickly.”_

 

_“What happened Loki?” She asked. He moved from the chair he was sat in and laid next to her on the bed, holding her to his chest._

 

_“You were dead,” He said quietly, “I had to save you.”_

 

_Boudicca began to get suspicious, “What did you do Loki?”_

 

_Loki sighed, “I made you a demi god.” He grasped her harder, “You’ve no idea how much it hurt seeing you that broken. You were dead and I love you so much. I have moved the stars for you. But I am scared that I will not be able to do that for you again.”_

 

_He sat up and cleared his throat, “I am going to lead an alien invasion. I made a promise with a dangerous creature and now that I have shared my life force with you, you are in more danger than ever. I’m going to act as a distraction and you are going to run.”_

 

_“But-“_

 

_“But nothing Boudicca!” Loki closed his eyes, “You are too important to me.”_

 

_Boudicca reluctantly accepted this and nodded, eyes solemn._

 

_“I will find you once it is safe, stay hidden. I have set up a safe house and bank cards loaded with enough money to sustain you. They are untraceable so you will not be picked up by SHIELD or anyone.” He pulled her gently off the bed and kissed her as if it was his last kiss._

 

_“I’m so sorry for what I have done to you, I needed to keep you safe from people much worse than me.”_

 

_Boudicca nodded and looked away. Her eyes found a mirror and she caught herself in the reflection. Her body was strong and curvy, yet toned. She was slightly taller but this wasn’t the most radically change. Instead of brown, her hair was bright teal blue. She looked up at Loki quizzically._

 

_“An electrical charge ran through you during the process.” He explained with a smile._

 

_He held her one last time before he backed out of the room. He closed the door and muttered an almost familiar incantation, turning the soft memories of these last few encounters to sour nightmares, as he had done previously. He had to protect her, he thought sadly._

 

…

“I was his Queen and he my King!”

 

Boudicca laugh manically, well after Stark had left. She couldn’t use her powers to get her out of the fishbowl they had put her in.

 

So she would wait for Loki.

 

As she had promised.

 

He would rescue her from the Raft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it! There is an epilogue but 'Redemption' is over!  
> This was an experiment to see whether I could write fiction and I believe that I have achieved this!  
> I have plans to write a sequel to this eventually but I may focus on some oneshots to improve my writing! (So please subscribe for more updates!)  
> I want to thank you all for commenting, bookmarking and giving the story kudos! It has really encouraged me to write more!


	19. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
> Comments are welcome!  
> Thank you for joining me on this story!

Loki collapsed into his silken bed. Between establishing himself as Asgard’s king, keeping an eye out for Thanos and settling deals for the armies that helped him, he was exhausted.

 

Thor had attempted to recapture Asgard this weekend by himself. Loki had long finished using his glamour to hold the appearance of Odin and Thor’s appearance was unplanned. Loki had managed to force Thor into the Odin’s sleep. He was making such a risk but as long as he kept the enchantments up, Thor would not be an issue.

 

Now that Thor was no longer an issue, he could bring Boudicca to Asgard. Loki was the god of mischief but he was not one to break an oath.

 

Loki had, of course, looked out for Boudicca. He was completely smitten by her and her unlimited capability to find good in the world despite what he had done to her. At first, he was just looking for someone to take all his frustrations out on but he found himself falling for her. He needed to protect her, not only from Thanos, but himself. She was far too perfect to break needlessly.

 

He had to make her hate him otherwise she would be hurt badly. He tried his hardest before resorting to magic. It killed him every time he saw her body bruised from him. He came to conclusion that he didn’t have to hurt her, just make it seem as though he had.

 

So he would rewrite her memories of him.

 

 

Last time he had seen her, she was in another club saving yet another person. The only difference was that she was in the company of a man with a metal arm. Loki was instantly jealous of him. _Why couldn’t he be like that for Boudicca?_ He swore to himself that he would make it safe and possible for Boudicca to be in Asgard. They could have a happy end, right?

 

He summoned an orb, of which he could see Boudicca. She was laid on that slate they called a bed. As much as he hated seeing her imprisoned in such similar conditions to what he had, he knew that he would get her out of there soon. He noticed her starting to sob. He had to find out more.

 

…

“C’mon Buck!”

 

“Sorry Steve, I’m just trying to find someone.”

 

“We have everyone, we have to get out of here.”

 

Steve had managed to convince Bucky into helping out on his plan into saving their captured friends from the Raft. Of course it didn’t take that much persuading but he had heard about the Raft before. Since his escape to Europe, Bucky had researched possible places they might have put Boo. The Raft had just been built when he escaped so there was a slim chance that Boo was here. He had looked at every other super enforced prison and couldn’t find any trace of her. The Raft was his only chance.

 

This was his only chance. The Raft acted as a type of submarine, moving constantly in random patterns in order to not be caught. It was only under Barton’s ingenuity and spy history that they had managed to track a signal here.

 

He was looking through the cameras, admission records, anything. He had to find her, she **had** to be here!

 

“Bucky! We’ve got to go!” Steve jogged into the central control to get next to Bucky, “C’mon Bucky, she’s probably not here. There are more places she could be, but we won’t be able to search them, if we’re caught now!”

 

Bucky reluctantly moved away from the control centre, “Okay Steve, next time.”

 

They left quickly, headed back into the quinjet and took off. Bucky couldn’t help but feel like she was there.

 

If they had clicked to change the cameras just one more time, they would have seen her, crying on the bed.

 

…

Loki was in astral form and watched Bucky fail. He was Boudicca’s only hope of living a vaguely normal life. He moved back into Boudicca’s cage and crouched in front of her. Boudicca’s head lifted, eye’s searching for the presence in her room.

 

“I’m coming Boudicca, I love you.”

 

 

Loki returned fully to his body, already formulating a rescue mission.


	20. SEQUEL!!!!

Just wanted to thank you guys again for all the comments and kudos! I really appricate it!  
I've started a sequel to this story called Repetition that can be access here:  
http://archiveofourown.org/works/8453890/chapters/19368613  
Or through my account!  
Happy reading!


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